It was an early morning, an all day tournament in Florence. I prefered those over the 3 day weekend tournaments. Reed would not be accompanying us on this day, there was a crop to harvest.

We headed out and let the GPS be our guide. We arrived at the field and met up with the rest of the team. Ethan always either pitched or played center field. I accepted that he would not be a middle infielder like his brothers due to his left handedness. (Even though he played a mean shortstop during park league ball. He was the only kid I ever saw single-handedly make 2 triple plays in one season. He definitely had that on on his brothers.)

This game and for the first time, coach had him at shortstop. It was fun to watch him play that position. It was fun to watch him play period. He always played with such heart. He loved the game; he still does. He had been drug to a ball field his whole life. The kid had been to more baseball games before he was even born than most adults in their whole life.

After the first half of the inning we were down. They had scored several runs on us. Coach Sean told the boys, “Alright guys, this team just hit you hard in the mouth. What are you gonna do about it.”

Ethan was always the lead-off hitter. He had a way of getting on base, and he was an aggressive base runner. He was fast.  The first pitch he hit the ball hard! It was a triple. When he got to third base, he asked Coach Sean, “Well, how about that.” He has always liked affirmation of a job well done. He still does.

I think that hit took the wind out of the opposing teams sails. We went on to win that game. After the win, we went to celebrate at a Mexican restaurant close by for lunch. If there is cheesy chicken and rice close by, sign that boy up. He ate a WHOLE plateful. Little did I know that would be the last meal he would feed himself for months.

When we got back to the ballfield there was another game to play. Ethan pitched and did well. We won that game. Now to wait for the elimination games to begin. The boys played around, and the adults visited while we waited. That is part of the fun of travel ball. I guess. But you have to find the right “family”. Not all teams have this…

I had no intentions of ever playing travel ball with Ethan. He begged us for 2 years. Coach Sean asked us for 2 years. I finally gave in after I saw the work he was willing to put into it and the positive attitude he displayed when we played park league ball. He simply loved it. He loved it more than his brothers. He was an encourager, and he was really good. I loved the way he treated his teammates. He had a gift…and I didn’t want to deny him the opportunity to use his gift.

It was a hot mid-September day. There was a thunderstorm brewing, and it didn’t look like we would finish this tournament. But we had to stay and play until the official call was made.

I was ready for the day to be over, and the boys on the field looked ready to head home too. We were losing. Coach Sean told me later that when he pulled the last pitcher he looked around and asked if anybody wanted the ball. He said Ethan told him, ” Coach, I believe I still got some gas in the tank”, as he swung his arm around. Coach gave Ethan the ball and he began to warm up. Eli was catching. I wish I had videoed those last few pitches…you just never know. And you can’t live your life in fear that every moment may be the last moment.

Kelly reminds me each time when we reminisce about that day about how Ethan wanted a popsicle and how glad she was that I went and got him one. Any other day, I might not have but he had played hard that day, and it was hot. And I am glad for that memory too.

It began to rain, and we continued to play. While we were still losing, we were catching up. Then it began lightening. They called the boys to the dugout. It poured. After about 30 minutes, they canceled the tournament. We caught a break in the rain and made a beeline for the truck. Ethan wanted to spend the night with Eli, but we were all so tired, we decided to do that another night. Anslie and Ethan started in on how hungry they were. I told them we would eat something when we got home. Ball game weekends are not cheap, and it was still early enough to eat at home. I set the GPS to get us out of there, and we headed home…

Sometimes we put more faith in a future that does not exist rather than in a faith of the One who holds eternity.

I have been guilty of putting more faith in a future I have planned in my mind, rather than having faith that the One who designed me already has it undercontrol…I’m not talking about wise planning. I’m talking about hopes, dreams, and expectations…He is already there!

I am still learning each day. I am still struggling to trust each day. I think we all are. It is exhausting driving that boat. God had proved himself faithful. We have never gone hungry or never not had a need be met. I remember a song from when I was a kid….hold on losely…I have learned to handle life like this. Be smart, make wise decisions, but give the future to the Creator. God gives me desires and dreams. But I have given those back to Him. He knows me better than I know myself, so why shouldn’t I trust that I will be most satisfied in the future he has for me.