Forty Days

Posted on by Julie Mitchell

I remember on the ride to Birmingham, I tried to mentally prepare myself to handle the news that he didn’t make it. I prayed something like this “God, you know how he loves people, to play ball, and to be outside. If keeping him alive means that he can’t have those things, then I don’t want to be selfish and keep him here. I will understand that You took him because he could no longer do those things”. But as soon as I prayed it, I told Him, “please God let him be able to do those things, please don’t take him from me.” Then I prayed, “God, I don’t care what shape he is in, I just want to keep him, Please God. Don’t take my baby!” My mind drifted to the day of that positive pregnancy test.
….
The day we found out there would be a Mitchell #4, I was so upset…I cried for 2 weeks…how could we afford 4 kids! Anslie was 15 months old and a double handful. I was enjoying watching John and Zack play ball. How in the world could I care for another one with her and tend to the 2 older boys! How could God do this to me when so many people wanted babies and could not have them! This was NOT fair!

I heard a song by Sherry Easter with these lyrics:

“He knows my name, he sees my heart, He knows each step I take he knows my deepest thought. (Here’s kicker) Before I breathed my first breath, my life was in his hands, He had a plan, for me.”

I felt so guilty and selfish. How dare I be upset with this life that God CLEARLY had plans for….(that story will have to be a whole other post.)
….
I questioned God during the car ride. Why would You rock my world with a 4th child only to rob me of him when he was barely 10. I was having a really hard time understanding and following God’s plan…see, I could only see what he was allowing me to see at that moment. He didn’t speak to me that night…but boy would He in the days to come. And His peace and presence was overwhelming. It still is, but different….

When we got to the hospital and found out he was alive, I knew in my heart it would all be ok….eventually…for a little while. I went back and forth, my faith wavering. We would have a set back, all part of God’s plan to force me to be patient and trust Him. I wanted to know long term damage, like yesterday. The doctors said, “months and years of therapy”, “Most of his recovery will depend on him”, “Every brain injury is different”, “We just can’t make any predictions”… Over and over we asked and over and over these are the answers we heard.
The first hurdle was for him to be taken off of the ventilator. That took 7 days. Then I just wanted him to open his eyes! It took 3 weeks for him to open his eyes…evolve from his coma. Then he just stared blankly…I lost my faith, but he was alive…I was so worried this was our forever Ethan, “a vegetable”. NONE of the doctors or therapists seemed alarmed by my child that was no longer “in there”…and that made me sad…they didnt know him, his laughing eyes, funny jokes, and charming personality. I would tell them about him, they listened. Every tiny interaction I could have with him was golden. I went to the gift shop and bought a light up ball. I would practice things I saw the PT do with him. Picking up the ball, dropping it, helping him throw it (pitching lessons I called it), trying to get him to follow it with his eyes, moving his arms and legs to keep his muscles lose, I guess. We practiced his pitching, I’d talk to him, but there was no indication he was there. Nothing. Blank stare. Nobody home. It. Was. Exhausting! Everything he did I was moving his body for him. The progress was SO slow…THEN God finally spoke!! 40 days Julie. Please be patient for 40 days. I didn’t tell anyone, because it sounded so cliche…and what if nothing happened after 40 days…man would I look like a goofball… when I would worry, God would remind me…it has not been 40 days. I quietly kept up with each day on my Facebook posts…each day I numbered so I would not lose count. I was to afraid to go into a calendar to find out which day was day 40…because what if it was not God telling me 40 days…I could not handle the thought that the voice I was hearing was not God’s, but my own…I mean what if it was all in my mind…I was so afraid on day 38 and it was still the same..no chance of walking in 2 days, barely sitting up, still not able to open his mouth to eat, in fact, he had to have a g-tube placed so he could be fed, and the mostly blank stare…he would grin from time to time…but there was really no great interaction on his part.

And then he spoke!!! It was actually on day 39, I think. Katie, the therapist told him to tell his leg to “move leg”. He mumbled it. Then she told him to say, “I’m a stud.” He mumbled it. But that was it. She could get him to talk, but I couldn’t. He just stared at me and smiled.
The next morning the Speech Therapist, Allison, came in for her daily session. He was not being cooperative so I stepped out during their session. When I came back, she had him identifying pictures on cards and speaking! He was talking! He couldn’t make conversation, but if you asked him a direct question, he would answer. He made up all kinds of answers if he didn’t know the answer. My favorite, “Ethan, where are we going tomorrow?”
His response, “The cherry farm.”

28 thoughts on “Forty Days”

  1. Jamie Anderson's avatar
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    Jamie Anderson says:

    Reading this has made me vividly remember that dreary, some times dark journey through the walls of the NICU @ Regional One Medical Center. By reading this I am reminded of that faithful God that led me there, and also led me out. I hope you’ll continue this blog as it is helping me deal with the issues I am struggling with,and the questions I’ve often asked God. Love you Julie and your amazing faith!

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    1. Julie Mitchell's avatar
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      Tarrying Here says:

      That precious picture of Reggie kissing that baby girl on Facebook the other day got me! I remember praying for those babies. I long for the day to see how all of these puzzle pieces fit together. Thank you!

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  3. Tracy Morelock's avatar
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    Tracy Morelock says:

    Having faith is such a simple thing to God but can be a hard thing when it’s time for us to step out and proclaim it!! God is always on time! His time is all that matters! Thank you for sharing! You are such an inspiration!!

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  6. MARY COATS's avatar
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    MARY COATS says:

    You have inspired us, please continue to write, I remember praying for Ethan and his family. God gives his hardest jobs to his strongest soldiers. God has shown us all that he is always on time.

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  7. Scott Johnson's avatar
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    Scott Johnson says:

    Awesome blog! I just hate that this is a true story. Ethan is truly a gift from God! He touched a lot of lives before the wreck, but he touched hearts and souls afterwards. God had a master plan. It’s just so hard to follow at times and accept the reality. I watched several kids get saved during Ethan’s hospital stay and rehab. It made them question, What if that was me? We love your family, and we love that Ethan! God Bless!

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  9. Carolyn Knight's avatar
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    Carolyn Knight says:

    Tears. Thanks for sharing. I am so thankful we serve a mighty God. Mrs. Julie, you know part of my story. Maybe someday I can share the rest with you. Ethan, is such a blessing. Corey talks about him alot. His latest story was about Ethan shaking his hand and saying welcome to the hardware store. Praise The Lord he let Ethan live and be such a blessing to so many people.

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  10. Angela Hudson's avatar
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    Angela Hudson says:

    So many prayers went up for this sweet child and to see all God has done is wonderful. Thanks for all of your honesty with your thoughts.

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  11. Karen Garvin's avatar
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    Karen Garvin says:

    Thank you for your obedience! I love you and I am so proud of you, for so many reasons! And I love you and Ethan like you belong to me too!

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  12. Gwen Haynes's avatar
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    Gwen Haynes says:

    I have loved following God’s story through you and Ethan. During those 40 days I would pray for him each night and wake the next morning to check Facebook to see if you had posted an update. I would rejoice when you rejoiced and would would be thankful that you acknowledged God each step of the way. Thanks for sharing this journey.

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  13. Tonya's avatar
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    Tonya says:

    I. Love. This.
    I have known you most of your life. I knew the brat, the new teenage mother, the teacher, and the Christian. You inspire me daily. This is awesome . Just like you!

    Like

  14. David Bryan's avatar
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    David Bryan says:

    Julie, thank you for the talks while I was at the MED with Bri. You were so far ahead of where we were. You told me things to expect, and they did. Thank you so much

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